Thanks to Greg for submitting this:

“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q&A format: 

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up. Read the rest of this entry »

For the week ended January 23, 2009, compiled by MFS:

• Dow suffers its worst Inauguration Day decline
• State Street losses spark banking rout
• Microsoft stuns with report of loss
• U.K. economy officially in recession
• Slowing China growth hits region’s export markets
• Central banks in Brazil and Canada cut rates

Stocks took a dive this week amid disappointing earnings and economic news. Corporate heavyweights, including Microsoft, General Electric, and Advanced Micro Devices, reported lower earnings, and economic data continued to point to a worsening global recession. As Barack Obama took office as the 44th president of the United States, the Dow Jones Industrial Average posted its worst Inauguration Day performance as worries mounted about the fate of the nation’s financial services sector. The Dow lost 332.13 points, or 4%. The decline was led by a 20% drop in bank shares as concern increased that financial institutions would need to be nationalized. Read the rest of this entry »