Thanks to Greg for submitting this:

“This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q&A format: 

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up. Read the rest of this entry »

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in  their cart.

 

‘What do you think you’re doing?’  asks the wife. 

  

‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,’ he  replies. 

  

‘Put them back, we can’t afford  them,’ demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.   

 

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the  basket.   

 

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the  husband. 

  

‘It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’  replies the wife.   

Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it’s half the price.’  

 

That’s how I got my black eye!