Thanks to Stangman for sharing these funny tidbits.

IDIOT  SIGHTING: 
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the  opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a  1/4
horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, ‘No, it’s  not.’ Four is larger than two..’        

We  haven’t used that repairman since.

 IDIOT  SIGHTING: 

My  daughter and I went through the fast-food take-out window and I gave the clerk  a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, ‘you  gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes, I know,  but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.  She sighed and went  to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, ‘We’re sorry but we could not do that kind of  thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in  change.
   
Do  not confuse the clerks at a fast-food restaurant. 
   
IDIOT  SIGHTING  : 
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local  township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign  on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!’ I don’t  think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore.’ 

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local fast-food restaurant and ordered a taco. She asked the  person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they  only had iceburg lettuce. 
 
IDIOT  SIGHTING: 
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’ To  which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled  knowingly and nodded, ’That’s why we ask.’

IDIOT  SIGHTING  : 
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was  crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew  what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, ‘What on earth are blind people doing driving?!’ 

IDIOT SIGHTING : 
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the  company due to ‘downsizing.’ Our
manager commented cheerfully, ‘This is fun. We  should do this more often.’ Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at  each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. 

IDIOT  SIGHTING:
When  my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were  told the keys
had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.  As I  watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and  discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician,  ‘its open!’ His reply, ‘I know. I already got that  side.’