Lamar is my name and golf is . . . well, golf is a game at which I mostly suck. (My wife the teacher will not like me using that word. It sets a bad example for the kids, she said. I seriously doubt any children are reading this web site, however. If there are and they don’t like me using that word, please let me know and I won’t use it again. I promise.)
Getting back to the subject at hand, Garland Hudson was kind enough to invite me to play in a fund-raising golf tournament for Orange Park Athletic Association recently at Fleming Island Plantation, formerly my favorite golf course. After I butchered it up during the tournament, I am not sure anybody will want to play on it. (Just kidding, Troy. It is a great golf course and I am sure I will be back. When my golf game improves or when pigs, you know, do their thing.)
While Garland is a good friend, I have to question his wisdom of inviting me to be on his team. Since I talk so much about golf, I am sure he thought he was getting someone who could contribute to a team victory. (Psst! Hey, guys. Don’t look for me back next year. I am sure Garland won’t make the same mistake two years in a row. I did buy him a beer, so maybe he’s remember that, too.)
Not all of the members of Garland’s team were losers, though. (Just me.) He did have the good senses to invite his dentist friend Dr. Bill Nipper and perhaps one of the best golfers in the county, Commissioner Doug Conkey. The commissioner played golf at the Naval Academy and is still a scratch golfer. He saved our bacon again, and again (and again) and I am sure he was wishing SOMEONE would make a shot so that he didn’t have to work so hard on every hole. It is not like he is Tiger Woods, or anything (but he is pretty good.)
Dr. Bill and Garland tossed in some good shots here and there and I did have one good drive and a chip and a putt for a birdie, so the day wasn’t a total loss.
With this tournament, I have now played with possibly two of the best golfers in Clay County — Conkey and Jim Kuhn. I played in a tournament with Kuhn at Magnolia Point probably about six or seven years ago, one of those tournaments where you had to use at least one drive from each member of a team. Those of you who have seen Kuhn play, know that he can hit it a long way. Well, it was getting late in the tournament and I had yet to have a drive that counted. Finally, on about our 14th hole, I nailed one about 240 yards down the middle of the fairway. I thought I had the monkey off my back. “We ought to count this one for me,” I said to Kuhn. He then stepped up and rocketed a drive about 50 yards past mine. “Not this time, Lamar,” he said with smile.
Conkey hits the ball long and straight and his short game is top-notch. He demonstrated all those shots on No. 18 at Fleming Island, a 515-yard par 5, holing a 100-yard chip shot for an eagle. We (I mean Conkey) had another chance at an eagle on our last hole, the par 5 No. 3. He used his last mulligans (which are legal in charity tournament golf) to try to pitch in from about 60 yards out. He came up inches short on his last try and Team Hudson finished out of the money, honey.
The tournament raised about $3,500 for OPAA, according to organizers.
Here is a video of Conkey picking up the eagle ball on No. 18 and one of his tries at another eagle on No. 3. Click on the gallery button at the top of the page and look OPAA photos. Winners will be posted as soon as I get them.